Why do people choose either counselling or coaching?
Recently I received a message to my business account concerning the potential to develop my counselling practice to include coaching as an additional service. Many of my fellow counsellors may have received such a message, be actively considering coaching or currently coaching clients. This got me to thinking of the service I provide and the reality that my practice is a commercial enterprise. As such it is determined by market forces that I must consider.
I suspect that the professional support market is leaning toward coaching as a desired service, as many people are seeing the value offered by coaches. I observe that social media promotes a number of coaches, offering career and dating advice, and this is well received. So it seems reasonable to suspect that many people are seeking coaching services to augment the media they consume in this area.
Yet, I suspect that seeking a counsellor for aid with mental disturbances, low mood or anxiety, is also increasing. Research evidence confirms many people are experiencing increased challenges with their mental health and seeking support is now promoted.
But I wonder is the distinction between counselling and coaching so vast as to be seen as two distinct practices requiring different professions or are the two in practice closer than we may think.
How do counselling and coaching differ?
Firstly, to consider counselling, I state that the implicit goal of therapeutic counselling is the acceptance and expression of the authentic self. The challenge that brings in reference to the concept of coaching is that I consider coaching represents achieving a more idealized, potentially inauthentic self.
As a therapist I am curious of the other, trying my best to create a relationship in which the other person is completely accepted so as to encourage an emergence of a self to be discovered. I question if a coach supports the emergence of authenticity, as a coach may invalidate the unconditional acceptance often so essential for the emergence of an authentic self. I fear fostering an inauthentic self could be reinforced by motivations represented by the external goals in coaching.
Yet, although alleviation of suffering from an inauthentic self may be the primary goal of counselling, it is not the only goal. Suffering is a natural aspect of the human condition. It would be rather strange not to suffer during grief or betrayal for example. I feel the purpose of counselling is more to aid people with their suffering, to assist them in becoming more adept at moving through the suffering inherent in life. To suffer authentically.
But people also suffer authentically from the conditions of their lives.
So we come to two aspects of potential suffering, suffering brought about from the internal states and suffering from external conditions. With these thoughts in mind, I suggest that both external and internal states are relevant to therapy and coaching. The two are a dynamic interplay of a persons whole existence.
Does personal development alleviate suffering?
When I regard suffering I am minded to consider that personal development pursued in coaching can alleviate a pervasive and significant potential suffering, that of unfulfilled potential. Many of my counselling clients come to counselling with a sense of frustration at the outward conditions of their lives. Many are unhappy in their relationships or unable to find a partner, while in careers many people are frustrated, bored or overwhelmed. The reality of the mainstays of peoples lives, their roles and relationships are for many a primary source of suffering. So in that regard successful personal development that leads to a felt sense of progress is of value to people suffering from the conditions of their lives.
Action
‘The key to power is taking action‘
Unlimited Power – Tony Robbins
Regarding coaching professionals, I have developed a fond appreciation for probably the most famous life coach, Tony Robbins. Initially I thought of him as a brash American, yet I have come to regard his work as authentic and effective, a role model for thousands if not millions to the value of coaching.
For me Tony Robbins moves most effectively in the realm of promoting action and that is a valid aspect of both the coaching and counselling processes. After all if no action is ever taken how can we say there has been any positive change? Surely positive changes we seek are not only changes in mood and affect, but also real world changes in behaviour. So I do hold that the focus upon action so evident in coaching is valid in counselling also, and points to a more active approach to change.
Therefore I propose that change both internal and external are the unifying factors of coaching and counselling. It is the effectiveness of the approach that matters.
If personal development is valid in counselling how should it be handled by the therapist?
So going on the assumption that personal development is akin to taking action and gaining real world results, how should a counselling therapist handle personal development goals. A trained counsellor could refer a client to a coach once it has been established that the frame of therapy is now in the realm of personal development. Yet, I suspect that I and many other trained therapists could use the counselling relationship and counselling skills to assist clients effectively.
It is my view that much of the counselling skill set is suited to personal development and with a simple adjustment of focus from the present suffering of a client to future ambition. I perceive that much of what is used to facilitate a counselling relationship applies to coaching as a whole.
Does a prospective client need to choose between and counsellor and a coach?
So returning to the main theme of this essay the differences and similarities between coaching and counselling. I consider that for the practitioners many of the same skills to coach or counsel apply, it is more a matter of focus. Are we primarily looking for change internally, in our thoughts, emotions and beliefs or are we primarily looking for changes externally in the conditions of our lives? Because both matter. They are two sides of the same coin.
Perhaps that is the conclusion for me to reach. That counselling and coaching are not two separate and distinct pathways to improving our lives but two aspects of the same process but from a different perspective.
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